Looking for how to get your husband to be less annoying? Are you annoyed with your husband all the time? Have you heard of irritating husband syndrome and thought, “Yep, that’s us”?
A quick trip to Google will tell you that husbands are annoying. As a group, they are not pulling their weight or making their wives happy. As a matter of fact, if you type just the word “husband” in Google, several of the first results are about divorce or wives hating their husbands.
Frequently searched for phrases about husbands on Google:
Irritating husband syndrome
Annoying husband habits
Annoyed with husband all the time
Why does my husband annoy me so much
My husband annoys me on purpose
My husband is obnoxious
My husband disgusts me
I can’t stand my husband
I resent my husband
I want my husband to die (Seriously guys, this is frequently searched!)
I don’t love my husband anymore
How to get your husband to be less annoying
Articles on the topic include:
Help! I Hate My Husband!
No One Ever Told Me I’d Hate My Husband
People told me about having a baby: You’ll be exhausted. Your hair will fall out, etc, but no one ever mentioned I might hate my husband
Tracey Cox on how to stop hating your husband
Do you HATE your husband? Sex expert reveals the reasons your spouse makes YOU feel hostile
Is it normal to feel like you hate your spouse? Ten common reasons for compounded negativity in relationships
How not to hate your husband after kids
Happy Mother’s Day: You will hate your husband after having a baby
When you’re a Christian but you hate your husband
I completely despise my husband. If forensics weren’t a thing, I would’ve poisoned…
Why are husbands so annoying?
I have been on enough mom message boards to know that one of the most common topics is complaints about husbands. As women, we really need to vent about all of the many things our husbands are doing wrong. It helps to hear other women tell us that they would also be annoyed, and that we shouldn’t put up with our husband’s bad behavior. According to women everywhere, these are the most annoying habits of husbands:
- Leaves clothes on the floor (or beside the hamper)
- Doesn’t listen to you
- Leaves the toilet seat up
- Looks at his phone too much~ I love this article on Scary Mommy about husbands’ phone habits
- Doesn’t exercise
- Goes to the gym too much
- Complains about watching the kids
- Watches the kids, but just parks them in front of the TV
- Chews with his mouth open
- Eats all your ice cream
- Leaves beard trimmings all over the sink (This one is an easy fix ladies! Get your man a beard apron.)
- He snores
- Offers advice when you only wanted him to listen
- Stresses over the finances
- Doesn’t help around the house
- Helps around the house, but does a bad job (ruined laundry anyone?)
- He doesn’t spend time with you
- He tries to fix you
- He never says he is sorry
- Thinks every touch has to lead to more
- Never compliments you
- Doesn’t give you gifts
- Is never romantic
- Doesn’t surprise you
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So let’s get down to it. How can you fix your annoying husband?
Here’s the thing– you can’t control your husband’s behavior, but you can control your response to it, and how you treat him. I am not wife blaming here, although, I do believe we need to take responsibility for how we have treated our husbands. I am simply saying, you can only change YOU, and changing how you respond to your husband will absolutely change how he treats you.
So what’s a girl to do? You can 100% fix your annoying husband (I will give you your money back if it doesn’t work) by doing the following things:
Never nag– We don’t think of it as nagging, so much as reminding. “Please pick up your socks.” “Don’t forget to put the toilet seat down.” My husband tells me that my nagging brings out some sort of oppositional defiance disorder in him. Whenever I nag, he immediately wants to do the exact opposite. After 15 years of marriage, I can tell you that nagging is the least effective way to fix an annoying husband. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. Nagging has never worked and it never will. I am ashamed to say that it took me about 13 years to figure this one out. If you are in the habit of nagging, this may not be easy, but you can do it. Start small– go one day without nagging. Then go another and another. Pray for God to help you keep your mouth closed when you want to nag. If you find yourself wanting to nag, just walk away. Keep yourself busy with something else.
1 Peter 3:1 ESV
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won WITHOUT A WORD by the conduct of their wives”
Stop Criticizing– Criticizing your husband is similar to nagging, but worse. When you criticize your husband, you are telling him he isn’t good enough. You are telling him that he needs fixing. Tough love time: it is not your job to fix your husband. Leave that to God. My favorite marriage book War Room, says it well, “When you let Him, God is a good defense attorney.”
Show him physical affection- While there are exceptions, most men need physical affection to feel close and connected to you. I often hear women laughing about “having a headache” or withholding physical affection as punishment for when their husbands make them angry. Would we do this to our children? Would we refuse to hug our toddler because he drew on the wall? Do you fake illness when your child wants to be close to you? Of course not! Even when you feel miserable, and your child has been a total monster all day, you tuck him in and give him hugs that make you both feel loved and connected, no matter how bad the day has been. Our husbands deserve this same treatment. Imagine how he would respond if at the end of a long day, you drew him close to you. This can be a total game changer for a marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:4
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
Be nice to your in-laws- Insult your husband’s family, and you insult your husband. Be nice to your in-laws. Good or bad, they raised the man you married.
Manage your money well- Money arguments are one of the number one causes of divorce. Communicate with your husband about your finances. Come up with a financial game plan and stick to it. I know many couples who have saved their marriage by completing Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace course.
Put him before the kids- This is a point of contention with many women, and I get it. Every mama knows your kids come first. But what I’m talking about is making time for your husband. I’m talking about not giving him what is left over after you have given 110 percent of yourself to your children and you have nothing left. I’m talking about making his favorite food a few nights a week, even if the children don’t like it. Put the kids to bed a little early and spend time with him. A happy marriage makes happy children. The security that a strong marriage provides for children is priceless. Also, you are raising your children to be able to leave you. You husband however, will be around long after the kids have started families of their own.
Put down that smart phone- This one is a no-brainer, but it is so hard to put into action. Text messages, emails, social media– it all demands our attention. But it is so very important for us to be present when we are with our husbands (and our children). Put your phone to bed each night BEFORE you spend time alone with your husband. Technology is a wonderful thing, but it hurts relationships in so many ways. Do any of us even like Facebook anyway?
Pray for him- Prayer is the most powerful thing you can do for your husband, yourself, and your marriage. Go into your prayer closet, and ask God to fix all the things wrong in your marriage. God cares about the small stuff. He cares that you can’t take one more pair of socks on the floor beside the hamper. He cares that the snoring is so loud the neighbors can hear it. He cares because it is important to you, and you are important to Him. Matthew 6:6 tells us “But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. The amazing thing about praying for my husband is that more often than not, I am the one God changes.
Date him- My brother in law once told me to always date my husband. He reminded me that in the midst of our crazy, hectic lives, it is important to date your man like you did before you were married. I don’t mean date nights. I mean putting on a little make up and some cute jeans before he gets home. I’m talking about putting forth a little extra effort and flirting some. Doing the little things that you did before you were up to your eyeballs in bills and responsibilities. I am guilty of not remembering to date my husband. It is so difficult to do when all I want in the entire world is time for a shower, and my toddler is screaming, “Nani, nani!” (nurse) to the top of her lungs. But I have found that when I am actively pursuing my husband, my entire life gets easier. It gets easier because we begin working together as a team, and we sure do make a great team when we are loving each other like God intended.
Speak his love language- Don’t waste your time telling your husband how great he is, if his love language is acts of kindness. And don’t spend all your time buying him gifts, if he’d rather hear that you appreciate him. No clue what I’m talking about? Check out The Five Love Languages.
Never talk bad about him- You can’t take back what you say about your husband in anger. Don’t vent to your mom or your best friend about him. We are called to treat others the way we want to be treated. Imagine how you would feel if your husband was at work telling all his friends the many things you do to annoy him. And you DO annoy him, I promise. We are ALL annoying.
Proverbs 31:12 She does him good and not evil, all the day of her life.