I’m a mother of four amazing kiddos. Whether or not I’m considered a “mom of many” depends on who you ask. To my close family, and to my friends at church, I have a zillion kids. To my friends at our homeschool co-op, my family doesn’t even get close to being large.
I prefer to think of it as just right, but I am the first to admit that there are many things I fantasize about that my friends with the average 2.5 children, don’t think about. Here are 10 things that moms of many would love to have:
A big van
I drive a Honda Odyssey (blue, so I can find it in parking lots) that seats eight, and it is great…except when I need to climb in the back because we are picking someone up for church, or when the kids want to have more than one friend over, or I need to load it to the brim for a day at the lake.
What this girl really wants is a Nissan NV 3500 HD SL. I want it completely loaded, and it is gonna need a backup camera because we all know I can’t drive that well. Maybe add a camera to the front too, so I don’t bump into stuff.
Why do I want a gas guzzling 12 passenger van when I only have four kids? Well, why would a family of four need a Suburban? Room!
Room to throw soccer balls, beach towels, kayaks, snacks for co-op, coolers of drinks, school books, and pretty much anything else you can think of, but most importantly, friends! We want to haul our friends wherever we go.
Industrial sized appliances
I wash, dry, fold, and put away at least 14, but up to 21 loads of laundry per week. There can be no such thing as “laundry day” because it would take my entire day. I manage by doing just a few loads each day.
I have several friends who have double (or more) the children I do, and I know they NEED industrial washers and dryers in their lives- a washer and dryer big enough to hold all the laundry without having to constantly cycle loads would save SO much time.
My dishwasher also takes a beating. I don’t like to rely on disposables because of the cost and impact on the environment, so I am running my dishwasher constantly.
Even my toaster could stand to have more slots. If I make two pieces of toast for each member of my family, I have to make three bathches of toast.
I would love to have the kitchen of a large restaurant, complete with all its appliances!
First, let me explain. Every large family mom I know LOVES to be with her children. I take my kids everywhere. I cannot imagine traveling to amazing places without them. I’m not a mom who could ever do anything super fun without my kids.
But you know what I COULD do? Lay on the beach with a book without having to count heads and reapply sunscreen to tiny faces constantly. I could eat fancy food with clanky dishes without entertaining a toddler.
What about my husband? Well, someone would have to be at home watching the kids. Plus, if I’m being honest, it would be so wonderful to have total quiet. I used to love long drives playing my favorite music with the wind in my hair. I don’t want to be alone forever, but a weekend would be so refreshing.
I look forward to my morning coffee like it is the first gift of Christmas. I’m not proud, but this is who I have become. I feel like there is a ton of bricks on my head until I have had the first cup. I wish I could drink it all day.
I LITERALLY fantasize about sleep. My bed is so stinking cozy. I could stay there forever, except I can’t. Someone about three feet tall visits me throughout the night and wakes me up bright and early every morning.
On the nights when my toddler makes it through the night, my husband snores all night long. Even my dog refuses to let me sleep. 530am- I have a snout in my eye.
I have threatened to make myself a bedroom for just me and put a lock on the door, but they all know I’m bluffing. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
A maid staff
I could spend all day, every day cleaning this house. Large family moms know that there is no such thing as a perfectly clean home. We enlist the help of the kids when it comes to chores, but even then, perfection is unattainable. This is ESPECIALLY true if you homeschool.
Homeschool houses get so much more wear and tear than other homes. All day, every day, someone is messing up something in my house. I need a full-time housekeeper to walk around and clean. By full-time I mean 8,760 hours per year. So really, I need a full staff of maids to take shifts making my house sparkle.
Why do these people need to eat three meals a day plus snacks every single day? It never ends. Could we please just have a chef make it all ahead of time and deliver it once a week? Please!
The first and last bite of a meal
Sounds odd right? But do you know how many times I sit down to eat something and my toddler climbs up to steal it? Or I’m really enjoying my drink and she comes up to take the very last sip.
Forget chocolate- I have to hide my chocolate. A pack of gum lasts about two seconds in a large family. I try to use as much stealth as possible, but even if I snag a piece of gum or candy without getting caught, they smell it and ask for it. 🙂
A milking cow
Now that I have a teenage boy, we need our own dairy cow. We burn through gallons of milk faster than I can get them in the fridge.
The coolest bunk rooms
We have a five bedroom house, but use just three bedrooms because we believe there are many benefits to kids sharing a bedroom with their siblings. I would love to have one of these amazing bunk rooms for my kiddos. Imagine how fun it would be for family and friends to visit. Or if you have a larger family than mine, it would be great just to have such a cool place for the kids to sleep.
The mother of all playrooms
Large families need a playroom that can take a beating, is easy to clean up, and has room for all the insanity that kids need to get out of their system…especially on rainy days
I am not talking about a cutesy Pottery Barn “play” room with a little art table and a place to build Legos. I want a trampoline, rock climbing wall, and place to ride scooters inside. I am currently fantasizing about making such a space in my basement.
I see beautiful family portraits all the time. Do you know how hard it is to capture a large family photo where everyone is dressed in cute, color coordinated outfits and smiling?
I’ve always got at least one child looking off into space or crossing an eye. That is if we even make it that far. Usually, someone will get a stomach virus on the big day. If everyone is well and ready to go, someone is going to fall and get a goose egg on their forehead. Luckily, most photographers today can work magic with photoshop. They can even get the food stains off your five year old’s dress shirt.
I want to spend quality time with each of my kids separately. I want to work on making our house into a home (we are updating an older home), keep things neat, make great meals, work for the church, and make time to blog. I just need more hours in my day or a doppelganger. A doppelganger would be amazing!
I used to tell people that kids are not as expensive as everyone says. I would proudly say, “Kids are only as expensive as you make them.” Then vision therapy happened. Then braces happened. Okay…maybe kids can be a little pricey.
Here’s the thing. When you have a lot of children, someone always needs something. I often find out on a Sunday morning that everyone has outgrown their dress shoes. I once bought my daughter all new shorts for camp. She came home, and a few weeks later had outgrown every single pair.
There is plenty you can do to save money, but I would say that most moms of many fantasize about a bigger budget.
Friends who get it
When a mom of two has a really tough day, she can feel free to vent to her friends. When a mom of eight has a hard day, she doesn’t feel quite as free to tell others about her exhaustion or struggles. People tend to think that moms of many are super moms. It can be hard to let people see that you are just like other moms, that you have days where you want to run away and that you get so tired you can barely move. Sometimes, it can feel like because we chose to have a larger than average family, we have no right to complain. The hardest part of not being able to vent leads me to the next thing that moms of many fantasize about…
Even on the hardest days, large family moms may want more children. There is so much love and so much to laugh about. Even with the exhaustion, expenses, worn out washers, and messy houses, there is always room for more.